1. |
Just.
05:08
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Just... (x4)
Just stop. Shut up. Just listen to me.
You are the one who controls your disease.
Just keep under wraps. Just follow the path.
Just shut up and smile. It isn't even that bad.
Just focus on me. Just sit down and breathe.
Just keep it hidden so no one can see
How fucked up you are underneath your skin
Just pretend you're okay and don't let anyone in.
Just... (x9)
Just be perfect, be normal.
At least in public, for me.
Just be perfect, be normal.
At least don't act like a freak.
Just be perfect, be normal.
At least in public, for me.
Just be perfect, be normal.
Or else you'll never be free.
Just... Just...
Just un-break your legs. Just un-cut your skin.
Just fix the bones that are sticking out from within.
Just pretend you're alright and everything will be fine.
I can still look good if you don't step out of line.
Just act like me. Just repeat what you see.
Don't make me look like a fool or I won't let you be seen.
With me. With me. Ever again.
Acting like it isn't broken might just fix your fucking head.
Just... (x12)
Just be perfect, be normal.
At least in public, for me.
Just be perfect, be normal.
At least don't act like a freak.
Just be perfect, be normal.
At least in public, for me.
Just be perfect, be normal.
Or else you'll never be free.
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2. |
Burnout
04:46
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I'm watching someone I love
Become someone I never met
You came here alone
And you left with a new best friend
All those times
I know I told you
Look behind
You when you walk alone
I did my best
That's all I could do
What happens next
Was never mine to hold
I
won't reach
for you
again...
I'm not gonna mourn you
When you burn yourself out darling
After you ignored my
Every final warning
(Burn yourself out, darling)
I don't wanna know
What you did while I was gone
Your name and your face
Are those of someone who is lost
You know I spoke
Of what I'd witnessed
When someone else
Had bled out on their feet
And you were wrong
When you smiled
And you swore
"It won't happen to me"
I'm not gonna mourn you
When you burn yourself out darling
After you ignored my
Every final warning
Everything's been said and done
And you refused to hear me
So I'm not gonna mourn you
When you burn yourself out darling
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3. |
Where You Sleep
03:54
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I know what you did that night
I know that you're still out there
I know that you felt so right
When your mouth was down there
Consent and sleep are not the same
So how could you mistake them?
How could loss of consciousness
Equate to yes, verbatim?
I've seen what's in your eyes before
I've seen that you're a danger
An insult to society
A cyst on human nature
I hope you die under a train
And that's saying it nicely
Cuz if I had my way with you
You wouldn't see the light of day
(Ha ha ha ha...)
You bet that if I knew where you slept at night
When your mother next saw you she'd start to cry
If your body ever was identified
The mortician himself would have to take five
Yet you'd find no remorse from me
Even if they ever found your body
'Cuz disgusting fucks like you don't deserve to breathe
So when you go to bed tonight
Be glad that I don't know where you sleep
My vendetta can't be solved
With one simple apology
A hundred or a thousand
And there still would be no mercy
The temple of one's body
You saw fit for invading
Even when you burn in hell
Forgiveness will be out of reach
When your body's on the ground
Your tears of blood elate me
Corkscrews in your fingernails
And skewers in your brains, see
Thinking about what you've done
Could make the whole world angry
But that won't amount to how I feel
Because you pulled this shit on me
You bet that if I knew where you slept at night
When your mother next saw you she'd start to cry
If your body ever was identified
The mortician himself would have to take five
Yet you'd find no remorse from me
Even if they ever found your body
Cuz disgusting fucks like you don't deserve to breathe
So when you go to bed tonight
Be glad that I don't know where you sleep
Maybe somewhere inside this overflowing heart
Just a hint of compassion is rationed to you
A tender caress of forgiveness
Wouldn't that be nice?
Such a shame you chose this path in life
Ha ha ha ha!
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4. |
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Can do, will do, but I don't want to (x16)
That's right
Look me in the eyes
And know I'm not afraid of you
Hold on
I think I'm gonna cry
So touching what I see you do
Now I'm
Gonna act surprised
So do your best to play along
I see you
Staring at the price
For everything you thought you owned
Lend me your suffering
Let me see you starve
Hand me the tears you bleed and
Let me show you the path
Can do, will do, but I don't want to (x24)
That's right
I'm not far behind
I'm figuring out your disease
The problem
Is that you're not alive
Because you don't know suffering
You know
What I'm gonna try
What you're gonna make me do
You know
You have to make a choice
I'm about to make it for you
Lend me your suffering
Let me see you starve
Hand me the tears you bleed and
Let me show you the path
Can do, will do, but I don't want to (x16)
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5. |
Disgusting
04:03
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I hate the feeling
That I'm trapped inside myself
I run as fast as my legs can take me
But it seems like I can go nowhere else
I hate the competition
I hate just waiting to be heard out
For every opportunity I get
Feels like I have to drag myself through hell
I'm sick of being told
I have to prove myself
I'm sick of fighting tooth and nail
To be seen by someone else
I start a fire with my own two hands
And the blister water leaves me in the dark again
I'm so fucking tired of killing myself
For every morsel of slack that I get
I know only I can save me from myself
But where the hell do I begin?
When there are six point nine billion more like me
But I'm exceptionally disgusting?
Why won't you look at me
And face what you have made?
It's almost like you feel you've gone too far
To take back that cake you baked
I'm so repulsive I want to vomit on myself
But still I have a lot to thank you for
Would not have gotten here
Without your help
I'm sick of being told
I have to prove myself
I'm sick of fighting tooth and nail
To be seen by someone else
I start a fire with my own two hands
And the blister water leaves me in the dark again
I'm so fucking tired of killing myself
For every morsel of slack that I get
I know only I can save me from myself
But where the hell do I begin?
When there are six point nine billion more like me
But I'm exceptionally disgusting?
Do you remember murdering me?
Or am I not good enough to commit to memory?
Darling I know the stages of grief
Start with denial, anger, and bargaining
There may be something you don't quite see
We're standing before you, I, myself, and me
You know you could fix this while we both still breathe
But you won't because I'm disgusting
I'm sick of being told
I have to prove myself
I'm sick of fighting tooth and nail
To be seen by someone else
I start a fire with my own two hands
And the blister water leaves me in the dark again
I'm so fucking tired of killing myself
For every morsel of slack that I get
I know only I can save me from myself
But where the hell do I begin?
When there are six point nine billion more like me
But I'm exceptionally disgusting?
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6. |
The Dark Room
05:24
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No ceiling or walls
Just a static gray skyline
Filling up the void
In the space I'm confined to
Screaming
But my voice echoes back to me
How long have I been captive here?
Baptized inside my blackened tears?
Screaming without mouth or ears?
Begging just to disappear?
Fingers crossed and mind is broken
Begging to a lord unseen
Taking back the lies I've spoken
With hopes the ghosts will let me be
My hair, my nails, my mind, my heart,
It's all falling out and coming apart
From clawing at the confines of this vast expanse
Screaming in the shadows of the emptiness
How long have I been trapped in here?
Pinned to the bed, I'm dying here!
Can nobody ease my fears?
Teach me how to dry my tears?
How long have I been captive here?
Bound in the chains my mind reveres
I can't move, I can't breathe
I'm alive in this tomb
I'm trapped, I'm trapped,
Alone in the dark room
Giving up on all my hope and
Praying to a lord unseen
Screaming out the life I yearn for
With hopes the ghosts will let it be
What the hell is it all for?
The suffering, the ones I mourn?
The daily grind of helplessness
Sustaining a life that no one would miss
How long have I been trapped in my
Melancholic binding ties
Memories all running by
Don't stay long, no reason why
What happened to everything
Everything that I believed
Everything that believed in me?
One more breath but I'm still choking
Praying to a lord unseen
Silence in the pain I'm given
I know the ghosts will never leave
Silhouettes all turn away
Not to see the tragedy embodying me
Shapes and colors, faces and names
None of them will know of what I became
How come I'm still trapped in here?
Why can't I escape from here?
How am I alive in here?
All I've done is nothing here
All I want is light and life
All I want is once to thrive
I can't move, I can't breathe
I'm alive in this tomb
I'm trapped, I'm trapped,
Alone in the dark room
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7. |
Train Station
04:06
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I struggle enough just to feel I deserve to live
I'm sorry if I come off like I have too much to give
It's feast or famine
Peace or havoc
Some mornings when I wake up I feel sad I'm still alive
I wish I had amnesia and forgot my worthless life
Are you, aren't you?
Is anybody there?
It's a fucked up situation
When your head is a train station
And your thoughts are complications
That dissolve all validation
It's a fucked up situation
To exist and to be patient
To use tears as compensation
For the stolen dedication
I'm drowning and the shore's just so far
The undertow is laughing as it kisses at my neck
And screaming only gets you so far
What will I do when I run out of breath?
It's a fucked up situation
When your head is a train station
And your thoughts are complications
That dissolve all validation
It's a fucked up situation
To exist and to be patient
To use tears as compensation
For the stolen dedication
I struggle enough just to feel I deserve to live
I'm sorry if I come off like I have too much to give
It's feast or famine
Peace or havoc
I'm drowning and the shore's just so far
The undertow is laughing as it kisses at my neck
And screaming only gets you so far
What will I do when I run out of breath?
Some mornings when I wake up I feel sad I'm still alive
I wish I had amnesia and forgot my worthless life
Are you, aren't you?
Is anybody there?
I'm drowning and the shore's just so far
The undertow is laughing as it kisses at my neck
And screaming only gets you so far
What will I do when I run out of breath?
It's a fucked up situation
When your head is a train station
And your thoughts are complications
That dissolve all validation
It's a fucked up situation
To exist and to be patient
To use tears as compensation
For the stolen dedication
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8. |
Offputting
06:40
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Let me begin by saying
Something just don't seem right
All of the secrets you're hiding
Are screaming to me from your eyes
I bet you thought that I couldn't tell
I bet you thought you hid it so well
I bet you thought that nobody knew
Except for you
But there was something offputting from the start
I wish I could expose you for what you really are
You'll never fool me but shame on you, for everything you say and do
There's nothing now that I can do but scream
You're a disease
You can't play dumb any longer
And yet you have mastered your technique
I wish that knowledge alone could stop you
But you're innocent until proven guilty
Though no one else can see through your mess
And no one else believes when I confess
I have to keep my cool and confidence
Because if I don't you'll strike again
There was something offputting from the start
I wish I could expose you for what you really are
You'll never fool me but shame on you, for everything you say and do
There's nothing now that I can do but scream
You're a disease
The cops won't take me seriously
And the world would turn and laugh at me
Such a good friend
Such a good friend
How could someone like that cause a death?
The cops won't take me seriously
And the world would turn and laugh at me
Such a good friend
Such a good friend
How could someone like that cause a death?
There was something offputting from the start
I wish I could expose you for what you really are
You'll never fool me but shame on you, for everything you say and do
There's nothing now that I can do but scream
You're a disease
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9. |
Sinders
04:53
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10. |
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I am broken inside, I can't learn to love or trust anybody.
Machinery system override that keeps my heart from yearning.
I wanna be held at night, told that I am beautiful.
But I'm beside myself 'cause I trust no one else to wait for me.
Trust is too hard to come when the snakes in the grass match the flowers.
One more lonely lullaby I sing myself to conquer these dark hours.
I grow tired of my voice and all the words it speaks.
No one else's will suffice 'cause they lack sincerity.
I am broken inside, I can't learn to love or trust anybody.
Machinery system override that keeps my heart from yearning.
I wanna be held at night, told that I am beautiful.
But I'm beside myself 'cause I trust no one else to wait for me.
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11. |
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I know there are things
I just can't understand
And things left unspoken
That are best still unsaid
You don't have to tell me twice
I can take a hint
I know better than to ask you
What I don't want to know
But my tongue's in my cheek
And it just goes to show
I still want you, I still care
And I don't know why
I know I have to come to terms
With the blatant evidence
But I just cannot seem to figure
Out what I have missed
Why can't I get it through my head that
You don't need my love?
Even in the most desperate of times
When you have no one?
And it's so ironic and so, so sad but
I don't know what I did wrong!
I don't want to, I don't need to
I just wish I could change your mind
If I had a hammer and chisel
I'd crack my skull to pieces
And drive it in, the message
You don't love me
You don't want me
You don't care about me
In the end, I don't need your touch
Or your secret smile or tender sweet love
But can't you look me in the eyes
And say you know I'm here!?
I would feel just so much better
Not to be the unseen admirer
But you won't notice, you won't listen
So instead just humor me with your silence
If I had a hammer and chisel
I'd crack my skull to pieces
And drive it in, the message
You don't love me
You don't want me
You don't care, don't care about me
If I had a hammer and chisel
I'd crack my skull to pieces
And drive it in, the message
You don't love me
You don't want me
You don't care about me
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Ｍｏｒｇｕｅａｎｎｅ Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Ｍｏｒｇｕｅａｎｎｅ
Sharing tidbits of my story so you know you're not alone. Remember, always, that you are loved.
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